Freitag, 1. Juni 2012

Karma, and how to make things right

For the past 10 or so days I've been tormented by such problems that can only be described as bad karma. It can hardly be said that I did something wrong to deserve this, but make mistakes I did.
Still, what it made me think about is what other mistakes have I made in the past? And against whom? If there is karma, is that why I'm going through this suffering now?

Time to define karma, how I see it. It's not a god, or a goddess, nor is it Fate. It is within us. It is superior to conscience, but closely related to it.
We all do bad things, more or less, that's absolutely relative. White lies, stupid pranks, we hurt people and don't look back, because "we don't even like those people, so it's OK", it's all morally wrong, but we still do it. Also, the ways in which we rationalize about the bad stuff we do are endless.
If we have a strong sense of conscience, we typically avoid doing bad things to others. But, sometimes we do something that hurts others, deliberately or unintentionally, as we almost always prioritize our own to other people's happiness. This can hardly be called bad, but it is not good either. Most people just push on and never look back, and their conscience doesn't get upset. But, this is where karma steps in. Because somewhere deep inside our unconscious we still know that what we did wasn't right. It then manifests in what I call bad karma.

So, that's why I feel that my karma has had enough and it's time to make amends and repair the damage I left behind me, never to look back. Maybe then karma will stop messing with me, and it seems very angry. Even if it doesn't, I'll feel better knowing that I undid some wrongs from my past. The goal is to make the record clean of all the wrongs I brought to others.

The reason for doing this might be selfish, but in the matters I am thinking about, the apology is the only thing I can do. And hopefully learn from the experience.

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